Since I was younger, I have always had a fascination with the sciences.
Whether it be the grand and unknowable nature of the cosmos, or the unpercivevable world of microbes, it was a frontier that held myriad mysteries and buetiful phenomena. My interest in the cosmos first bloomed when I was only 3, maybe 4 years old? I remember being sick and on a hospital bed, nothing too bad on paper just a flare of my athsma. My grandmother had handed me her iPad to distract me from the discomfort. It was through that device that I had first come in contact with a constellation app. The universe seemed so huge and beautiful, and there was always something new to learn about it. At that age, I wasn’t thinking about what I would major in someday or what kind of career I wanted. I definitely wasn’t thinking about how much math would eventually be involved. I just thought science was interesting.
That curiosity also made me a reader. I have never really stuck to one type of book. If I find a subject interesting, I can spend hours reading about it. Books also make knowledge incredibly accessible. There is always another subject, another story, or another perspective waiting for me. Reading has helped me develop my imagination, but I think it has also made me more willing to question what I know.
For a long time, I assumed that my interest in science meant I would eventually study something in STEM. I did well in both science and math, and as the classes became more advanced, I kept going. This year, I am taking AP Calculus BC.
Calculus has humbled me.
When I was younger, I liked science without really understanding how difficult the mathematics behind it could become. Higher-level math requires patience and a different kind of discipline. I still work hard at it, and I still appreciate the logic behind it, but it has made me realize something important: being capable of doing something doesn’t necessarily mean it has to become the thing I spend my life studying.
At the same time, something else was happening. I was becoming more interested in history, literature, and the humanities.
I found myself enjoying the kinds of questions these subjects asked. In math, I might spend a long time trying to arrive at the correct answer. In history, finding an answer can sometimes lead to even more questions. Why did someone make a particular decision? What did people believe at that time? How can two people look at the same event and understand it differently?
There is more room for interpretation, argument, and imagination. I enjoy forming my own opinion and then figuring out whether I can actually defend it with evidence. My parents would probably also say that I have had plenty of practice arguing at home.
That is one reason I have recently started thinking about studying history and possibly following a pre-law path. Psychology interests me as well because it asks another set of questions about people: how we think, why we behave the way we do, and what influences our decisions.
I don’t see this change as giving up science. I still like it. I am studying astronomy now, and I can easily imagine continuing to take astronomy courses in college, perhaps as a minor or simply because I enjoy it.
What has changed is the way I think about my academic interests.
When I was younger, I thought that if I loved a subject and was good at it, that was probably what I should eventually study. Now I realize that choosing what to study is more complicated than that. It is also about discovering which questions keep you interested, which challenges make you want to keep going, and where you feel there is still more to explore.
Science taught me to be curious about the world around me. Math has taught me persistence and humbled me along the way. Reading, history, and the humanities have given me more room to explore people, ideas, imagination, and different perspectives.
I still don’t know exactly what I will study in college, and I don’t think I need to know yet. What I do know is that the questions I want to ask have changed. When I was younger, I wanted to understand how the universe works. Now, I find myself just as interested in understanding the people who live in it.